When you think of relationships you typically think of them progressing in stages: you meet someone, you go on a few casual dates, you get serious and start steadily dating, you get engaged, and you get married. Right? And once you’re married you form your lives together and everything just falls into place.
At least, that’s the very idealistic look at relationships in their long term stages. However, when you get married there’s a lot more to it than just exchanging vows and trading rings. In fact, there’s quite a bit of maintenance that comes with sustaining not just a marriage, but a thriving marriage. And one of the key components of that is continuing to date each other.
I know what you’re thinking. Dating? But you already did that! You’re through that hoop! But you aren’t. Continuing to date your spouse throughout your marriage, especially once you have kids, is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. Don’t believe me?
1. It helps rekindle the flame – Getting dressed up and going out to a new restaurant with just you and your spouse helps ignite some of those same emotions that you felt when you first started dating that you’ve probably shelved as the years went on. You have to find ways to keep that spark alive so that your relationship doesn’t become stagnant and going on dates helps to do that.
2. It gives you a much needed time-out – It’s so easy to get swept up in your kids and their lives and let everything else fall by the wayside, and making it a point to take out one day a month where you focus on just you and your spouse and no one else gives you a much needed break from the chaos of everyday life. It’s a small window of opportunity to not worry about bedtimes, grades, and soccer practice, and to relish the time spent with each other.
3. It gives you time to focus on each other – You married this person likely because they were not just your partner, but also your best friend. And yet, when kids come into the picture it’s easy to lose focus of that, and to channel all of your energy into being good parents. But for a successful marriage you need to be good partners to one another as well, and fully focusing on one another from time to time is the perfect way to keep that aspect of your relationship alive.
4. It allows you to get to know your spouse again – You aren’t alone if you get caught in the trap of thinking that you know all there is to know about your significant other. However people are continually changing as they grow, meaning if you aren’t actively engaging each other these changes might slip right by you until you wake up one morning and realize you don’t know the person lying next to you at all. By continuing to date each other you are able to sidestep that because you are still allowing yourself to get to know your spouse, even after years spent together.
Dating throughout your marriage, especially once you have kids, is one of the single best things you can do for your spouse and for yourself.
Don’t let your marriage become stale because you focused all of your energy everywhere but your significant other. Instead continue to stoke the embers so that the flame that first brought you together is constantly and steadily burning as the years pass by.
About the Author:
Liz’s hope that many more people can live out that dream through reading her articles and thoughts about the good AND the bad of the online dating scene through top dating sites. Get in touch with her at: liznelson17 “@ “gmail.com.